That i may know him......

If you were able to read last week’s blog you saw that I ranted about dreams. Hopefully if you got anything out of it, it was that even though God calls us to do things, and we have “dreams and visions” that he has laid on our heart, we can’t idolize them or even really pursue them.  I also put up a quote by Phil Vischer saying we don’t achieve the impact God desires by pursuing impact, but by pursuing Him.

After thinking about this for some time now and looking back on my experiences, I’ve admitted that I held myself and my potential future in God as an idol. I mean it sounded spiritual if you talked to me about it and I looked as if I was running after God, but really it was selfish at the core because really God was nothing but a means to an end for me.

I’ve come to a place right now where I’m doing my best to simplify all my ministry efforts so that I can really pursue and know God.  Because for some time now ministry efforts have consumed me, and it came to a point where I was very unhappy, mainly because I was pursuing “the dream” or “the vision”. 

I’ve come to love the Lord’s command to make disciples, Matt 28:16-20, but after thinking over these things I’ve come to wonder how much of a disciple am I? Am I living in a religion or living a life that strives to know Christ and live the life that he has called me to live?

“…’If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

I’m not sure how much of me I’ve been denying, I just know I’ve made myself busy. But I do know that as of lately I’ve hungered for what the Apostle Paul said to the Philippians “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection…” Phil 3:10. I don’t want any ministry I do to be out of some superficial relationship with Christ, but from a deep one. I want a life that proclaims the richness of Christ. I want my only dream, vision, destiny to be Jesus Christ, because in him I live, move, breathe and have my being.

During all of this I remember the story of Mary and Martha. I’ll leave you with this….

“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”(Luke 10:38-42 ESV)