Faithful

Today I want to continue sharing what I have learned in my marriage. I’m not saying I’m a marriage expert, because I still have lots to learn, but maybe my insights can encourage or help others in their journey with their spouse or show young people who are looking to get married what this life looks like.

One word that has struck me in the last couple of months is the word “faithful”. The depth to which I am to be faithful to my wife is so much more than just the outward appearances but stretches down to my affections and thoughts (my inner man/being). Jesus says this in Matthew 5:28 “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (ESV)

Wow, that is pretty intense. Most people do their best not to physically commit adultery with another person, but this calls us to a level of faithfulness that is unheard of. I think that we tend to forget that not only have we pledged to love our spouse with our physical members(our body), but also with our mind(thoughts), and our heart(affections).This is so important married men, adultery starts in the heart, if you can win the battle in the heart you will win it in the flesh. That is why James says in James 1:13-15,

”Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”(ESV)

It is so important to keep your heart guarded so that you can stay faithful in your marriage. Because it all starts in your heart. This is very applicable in your relationship with Christ.

There are several warnings against idolatry in scripture. Idolatry is not you carving a wooden figure and you worship it, but it is anything you place above Christ and find satisfaction in. Television can easily become an idol, so can cell phones, relationships, even FACEBOOK!

As believers we too have to guard our hearts and not allow ourselves to worship anything else but 

Christ. “Little children, guard yourselves from idols.” 1 John 5:21. The Bible says in Matthew 22:37, “And he[Jesus] said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind”.

We should seek to honor God with every aspect of our life. Not just our external actions but also the activities of our heart. I constantly must be vigilant to keep watch and make sure I do not exalt anything above Christ because nothing else is worth the worship that is due His name.

My wife is a very jealous person, as she should be. If at any time she feels that something or someone is taking the attention that is due her name, she sees fit to intervene. The same is true about our Lord. He is jealous for us and if anything seems to come between us and Him he will see fit to intervene.

“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God…” Exodus 20:4-5.

So how do we guard ourselves in our marriage? Here are three things I have learned to do in my first year of marriage.

1. Don’t keep secrets. It is always in the dark places that the enemy is at work. Secrets have a habit of making you keep a secret life.
2. Be careful of how “close” you allow people to come. No one should get into the secret places of your heart except your spouse.
3. No one should know more than your spouse. This is a very practical thing that means a lot to your spouse.